Create yourself with awesome failures at novel things

The sailboat sank the other day. I am a little heartbroken about it.

I put in a ton of time in restoring it. But it was old. And I am grateful to it for sparking a love of sailing. I made a lot of mistakes along the way. Including one fatal one, apparently. Oh well, I’d do it again.

When I realized the boat was in trouble, I called my 16-year-old son Nash down to help me on the dock. We tried desperately to save it as it was taking on water. We failed. I don’t know where it took on the water. It was coming into the hull furiously. The pumping we could do slowed the process. But that’s all it did. We were never in danger.

The water was cold. The process from the time I saw it listing and taking on water to it dipping below the waves was an exciting half-hour. Lucky for us, it was only eight feet of depth, and we were close to the dock. Initially, I was embarrassed as well. I wondered if something I did or didn’t do caused the sinking. I don’t know much about boats. I do know this was an undesirable outcome.

Afterward, I thanked Nash for his help and told him to relish the new life experience of being on a sinking boat. There are things you don’t like but can still enjoy the experience.

I love novelty. I bought the sailboat without knowing much of anything about working on one. The appeal of it was intuitive. It was something new, and I thought I would like it. I did.

With internet research, I was able to learn about what to do and how to do it. The work was enjoyable; successes felt like triumphs. Setbacks were new challenges. I repaired many things twice. Once wrong, and the second time correctly. Since we live on a lake, I was able to sail quite a bit. I used it three times in the week before it sank.

The sailboat wasn’t fast or modern. A 1978 McGregor Venture 222 it was built the year I graduated high school. The boat didn’t handle well and was slow. But I don’t race.

Standing on the bow, in the final moments of it sinking, was a great life experience. That’s not something I ever expected to do. Again, I do love novelty. In the aftermath, we gathered whatever floated up.

I called someone to raise the boat. A scuba diver attached inflatable bags to the hull, pumped them with air, and brought it to the surface. It was expensive. Fun to watch. The sailboat cost $2700 originally. The price to raise was $3300. The guys doing the work were friendly and knowledgeable. They said they lift 120 boats a year. One of them, John, was an older guy.

John knows sailboats well. He and I discussed why it might have sunk. He had no idea. I enjoyed speaking with him about sailboats. Glad to have met him, he was a gentle spirit. It was encouraging that it wasn’t clear what happened, maybe I didn’t screw it up. John is a man that has found his place in the universe. Or, put more precisely, made his place in the world. He has the skills to rescue things he loves, boats. I love that in a person.

I couldn’t risk it sinking again. Best to move on. It went to boat heaven. They put it on a trailer, and I said goodbye. It was like a perverse interpretation of the Marie Kondo’s Konmari method. In the Konmari process, one lets go of things that no longer bring joy and de-clutters their life. Konmari suggests you thank the item. I did.

The whole thing was a successful failure. It was a failure with some beautiful gifts.

I learned a lot about boats, wood repair, wire rope, rigging sails, and sailing. It calmed my soul and inspired my mind. I think more was gained than lost.

I’ll get another sailboat. Ideally, something I don’t truly understand or know how to sail. I’ll try and fail. Live and learn. Dear God, I hope I don’t sink it. I could fail again. That’s the world I want to live in now.

There’s little comparable in life to trying new things. You’ll learn about it, and you’ll learn about yourself. There’s an element of future success in every current failure. The road to success requires you to travel through the valleys of failure.

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. The goal is the creation of yourself in a world of your design. To build you and that world, try new things.

Embarrassment is temporary. Lessons last forever. Putting yourself in a position to fail has risks. And rewards.